There are a few drawbacks to being short: being shorter than your wife when she's wearing heels, the inability to get things down from high shelves, and most annoyingly, never being able to see properly at gigs.
One particular drawback that had never occurred to me until Saturday is related to football (you know, the proper kind where you kick a ball with your foot, not that yankee rugby nonsense where everyone wears scaffolding and disturbingly tight trousers, but I digress...) I discovered on Saturday that when playing football, short-arses like myself are more likely the most to get kicked in the face.
The ball was at (my) head height, so I went to head it. Unfortunately, some normal-sized bloke decided, to use his foot to kick the ball (foot-ball - you see?). I think I got there first, and he basically kicked me in the face.
The ref blew for a foul (foot too high).
I felt a little stunned, and when I put my hand to my face there was blood, so I was subbed off and given a sponge to play with.
I had a gash under my left eye, and swelling which promised, (and delivered) quite a nice black eye.
All of which meant that Heather ended up back on her ward about an hour after she'd left it with me in tow. I had some x-rays, which showed no damage to the cheek-bone, but the doc says I shouldn't blow my nose for a week in case there's a hairline crack which could be exacerbated by excessive pressure. I'm guessing that getting a football in the face would come under the same category, so I think I'll skip training and next Saturday's match.
I also got four stitches in the cut. I've never had stitches before. The local anaesthetic injections stung quite a bit, in fact they hurt more than actually being kicked in the face, which didn't really hurt much, adrenalin's a wonderful thing innit?
So there we go, that was my weekend, some other stuff happened too, much of it as much fun, but probably less worthy of retelling here...
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